heal over

***
It isn't very difficult to see why
You are the way you are
Doesn't take a genius to realise
That sometimes life is hard
It's gonna take time
But you'll just have to wait
You're gonna be fine
But in the meantime

Come over here lady
Let me wipe your tears away
Come a little nearer baby
Cuz you'll heal over, heal over
Heal over someday

And I don't wanna hear you tell yourself
That these feelings are in the past
No it doesn't mean they're off the shelf
Because pain's built to last
Everybody sails alone
But we can travel side by side
Even if you fail
You know that no one really minds

Don't hold on, but don't let go
I know it's so hard
You've got to try to trust yourself
I know it's so hard, so hard

***

- KT Tunstall

happy new year

Happy new me!

Despite how last year was quite a roller coaster ride, there were many great moments worth carving into my milestone. And the last thing I wanted was to end the year feeling sad and low. So i had a couple days left of '07 which i told myself i gotta spend them wisely. And start off the new year with a happy version of myself :)

I got to spend some quality time with my family.. sometimes you forget how they're always there, loving and caring for you. sometimes you forget the feeling of being 'home'.. and my big family - we threw a new year party for the first time in our new place. For those years we weren't living together, i forgot how fun it was to hang out with my cousins and relatives. We dressed up, we ate (a lot), played some games, grabbed the mic and sang karaoke, watched fireworks.. I wouldn't want to spend the countdown any other way.

Then I also got to hang out with my very good friends. They're always there for you when you're down or in trouble.. when you need a listening ear.. or a shoulder to lean on.. Sometimes all you need is to know your friends are standing by you. Helping you through your tough days. We didn't do much, but that's the point. With your best friends, you don't have to do much and you're happy already..

But what I felt really good about was when I went to tam-boon at a children foundation (called Sang Sun Dek) with my friends. Got to meet and talk to the kids there, watched them play and relax. I learned that some of them are not orphaned, but their families can't take care of them due to watever reasons. But they seem to be well taken care of, so I hope the donation is put to good use for the kids :) Perhaps a new set of swings in the playground.. or more books in the library.. which reminds me, I have tons of books to donate too. Next trip it is.

New year should be the time of happiness and joy. I think I ended it quite well this time around :) Now feeling fresh, with a smile on my face, and ready to face 2008! Yee-hah! ^^

a token

Just a little token could actually brighten up my day..

They say you get what you give. For today, I didn't get what I give, but rather a little something more. I only gave a small change, but then I got a big smile on my face in return. A son, and a father, walking slowly in the soi. It's probably a familiar sight for most people in the area. The father is blind, and the son walks in front of him, letting him hold his arm while he sings through the microphone which is connected to a small speaker in the old man's tiny backpack. I don't imagine it's of any great quality, but to both of them it's probably what they live on each day. Many times I walked pass them. Today I stopped to give them something, and listen. The kid's quite a singer actually, and he does keep his trend to what's hip and hit too. But the thing that made me smile..was simply a little thank you from the father. Plus a wish for a happy new year. I thought it was sweet.. and sincere.. It was my first new year wish :) yeah, he's a bit early, hehe.

Seeing something like this, I feel like an idiot to be going crazy over many little things. Look around, and you see many people with worse problems and difficult situations. And they fight.. to live on. Am I fighting as hard? Surely not. And then you think, wow, you're lucky to be where you are. Perhaps if we actually stop, and look, and listen, once in a while.. we could learn a lot from little things around us. Well, I did have my lesson today. And with that small token, I thank them both for showing me something meaningful in life.

..I'll be seeing them around. With more tokens.. and a new year wish, of course! :)

what would you do

What would you do.. if you wake up one morning, and you don't know how to spend another day of your life?

That sounds rather sad, doesn't it? But I think the question must hit someone out there. If life today is not overwhelmed by work and whatever that is related to it, I might ask this question myself quite often too. Even when things are hectic and crazy, I somehow manage to come to think of it still. Life can be full, of so much more, and yet I feel like I'm living it blankly. What happened to all the things that used to matter? How do I find them again? There used to be a purpose in almost everything.. Life without purpose is a life wasted.

Purpose. A simple thing that could make your life so meaningful. Something to hold on to; something to keep you sane. A direction. A goal. A treasure at the end of the journey. A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It's living with hope. So that even if at the end of the day you fail, you can still go on. I have lost mine.. I let it go. Now even if I want it back, it's nowhere to be found.

So what do I do.. when I wake up one morning, and realise I've lost that purpose in life?

I can't figure that out yet, but I pray that hope is stronger than purpose. And even if the purpose is lost, hope can still prevail. And with a little hope in your heart, you can tell yourself things will be alright. Maybe with hope, I will find my purpose again. A matter of time. Hopefully..