home & sick

they say you're homesick when you miss home.. i do miss home, but i wouldn't call it homesick yet.. then again, when i fell sick earlier this week, i did miss home a lot :) i guess it's because when you're home, you feel safer and you know your way around and how things work.. it's not quite like that around here.. even though i know eventually i'll recover, going through it can be quite torturing.. and then with the doc's list of what i should not eat, gosh, it seems like everything! fried, spicy, dairy, fruits, vegie, blah blah.. i followed that for a day or two.. now still taking those bland stuff but adding a bit of tasty snacks (assuming it shouldn't be too bad).. :P i'm pretty sure it's not that bad.. well at least i'm still alive and kickin' so guess i'm fine~~

dream

ฝัน.. ทำไมคนเราถึงหลับแล้วฝันนะ จะมีใครที่ไม่เคยฝันเลยตั้งแต่เกิดมามั่งมั้ย เค้าบอกว่าคนเราฝันเพราะหลับไม่สนิืืท สมองยังทำงาน แต่เหมือนจำได้ลางๆว่า จะฝันตอนใกล้ตื่นเท่านั้น ก็แปลกดี บางทีเหมือนฝันทั้งคืน เรื่องก็ออกจะยาว แต่ความจริง ช่วงเวลาที่ฝันแค่ไม่กี่นาทีก่อนจะรู้สึกตัว บ่อยครั้งไปที่จำได้แค่ว่าฝัน แต่ฝันเรื่องอะไรก็ไม่รู้ ตื่นปุ๊บลืมปั๊บ อาจจะจำได้แค่ความรู้สึก สนุก เศร้า น่ากลัว หรือขำ แต่จำเรื่องไม่ได้ พยายามนึกไปก็เท่านั้น เสียดายความฝัน ถ้าเอามาเล่าสู่กันฟังคงได้หัวเราะบ่อยๆ.. อะไรๆก็เกิดได้ในความฝันไม่ใช่รือ ถึงเราจะบังคับฝันไม่ได้ แต่นั่นอาจจะเป็นเสน่ห์ของความฝันก็ได้นะ ถ้ารู้เรื่องก่อน ถ้าบอกสมองได้ว่าอยากฝันเรื่องอะไร ตอนฝันก็อาจจะดี แต่ก็รู้เรื่องก่อนแล้วนี่นา.. จะสนุกได้ยังไง ลองให้สมองว่างๆของเราสุ่มชีวิตในฝันให้ดีกว่า ก็เหมือนเวลาตื่น แต่ละวันฟ้าก็สุ่มเรื่องราวมาให้เราทั้งนั้น อ่ะ..ไม่ใช่ฟ้าก็ได้ แต่ใครก็ไม่รู้น่ะสุ่มให้ ต่างคนก็เจอเรื่องราวที่ต่างกัน ผ่านไปทุกวัน ไม่มีใครมีชีวิตเหมือนกันเลย เอาทั้งหมดไปเขียนหนังสือ.. คงมีหนังสือล้นโลก ถ้าเขียนความฝันเข้าไปอีกยิ่งล้นไปถึงดาวไหนๆ เราก็เอาแค่พอหอมปากหอมคอ ลองขีดๆเขียนๆแบบย่อ เผื่ออยากไว้อ่านเล่นตอนแก่.. (ขนาดนี่เขียนไร้สาระ ยังมีคนอ่านเลย อิอิ) แต่ก็เอาแค่เรื่องตอนตื่นก็ละกัน เรื่องฝัน..ขอเก็บไว้ฝันคนเดียวนะ.. (^^)

what it takes to lead

isn't it always the issue of how one should be a leader? every so often i hear about leadership and how that will help you accomplish great things, well mostly work-wise.. and definitely it's a big thing around b-schools.. recall those essays about how you have developed and demonstrated leadership skills and how you planned to use that during and after your mba.. sometimes i wonder how all leaders can be together - who's going to follow if everyone wants to take the lead?

well, leave that for the moment, and i want to share a quote which i got from a movie.. i don't suppose you have seen it, judging from the number of my friends here who showed interest (which was none hehe).. but here, lead is in the context of dancing.. the instructor simply said to a guy, who tried to learn how to lead his partner.. "Do not dominate her, but take her on a journey." somehow i like how that sounds, and not just in the dance context but in other aspects of life.. do not dominate, for doing so will not help but rather lead you to step on each other's toes.. make it a journey, and you both will enjoy the experience together and cherish the memorable moments.. i think there is no need to define who the leader and the follower is.. like when the guy steps forward first, it doesn't have to mean he is dominant.. what's important is for the two to move together in coordination.. i do not claim to know how ballroom dancing works, but i sure believe what is in the mind of those who dance will be reflected in their movements.. imagine how graceful the couple would be when the man creates a journey and earns the woman's trust.. she can then dance with confidence in her partner and can fully express herself..

and now that i have gone on and on relating dance to life, i think i want to end with that.. leadership and mba, nah.. might be too boring for you guys :) let's just say, in all the good leaders there is an element of a follower.. and that is through opening up and listening to others.. think about the experience and the result.. if you want things done the way you do alone, then you might as well dance by yourself..

fake chemist

this is just to reflect on an old friend's blog entry i read earlier.. it wasn't the main idea of the post, but part of the metaphor used.. but let's go back to really basic chemistry.. we all know water and oil do not mix (btw i just learned a new word 'miscible' which is basically, to me, mix+able hehe).. and even if you try to shake it, it'll separate in the end.. some people try to do that in life.. to put things together and try to blend.. you get a whole lot of new stuff if you succeed, of course.. yet we all know certain things don't blend, like water and oil here.. and perhaps the only way to make it 'seem' like it is blended together is to keep shaking forever.. (i strongly believe human eye can fool human).. but who, and more interestingly why, would you want to keep forcing, knowing you cannot sustain such state.. perhaps you might want to ask yourself, what's wrong with leaving it separate? leave the oil up there and the water down here.. let it be.. and here i agree with the ending of my friend's post.. sometimes if you step back and look at it, you might realize it is perfectly fine to not blend and coexist.. now, what if you disagree with me and insist on trying.. maybe you can find the so-called emulsifier which can stabilize the two immiscible substances.. like soap! sure, put the soap in, shake it again, and voila! they mix! but you know what, now you get some cloudy merky liquid.. not water nor oil.. just something.. so i guess if people are happy with that, then keep on looking for that 'mixer'.. but if i were to be that water, i might try to find something, or someone, else that will naturally blend with me.. still that will involve stirring and shaking, but at least eventually it lasts..

ps. for the oil, it might be better to set it aside.. in another nice little bottle by the window.. so when the sun shines through, i could enjoy the beauty of the golden reflection from afar..

under height?

despite the guilt of having done some serious grocery shopping today (and not much should be considered 'groceries'), i took pleasure in cooking, eating, and continuously drawing down my supplies.. blame it on the spring break - it made me felt like i needed everything.. and therefore impulse buying took charge.. later i realized i have eaten too much.. and yes, it's always later, never before.. guess it would be nice if we don't have to worry about gaining weight.. then i found this in wikiquote:

"i am not over weight; i am under tall."

interesting view.. although i want to change tall to height.. supposedly it was quoted from garfield.. i can imagine his grinning face when saying this hehe.. but at the end of the day, we need to fight the weight factor cuz we cannot do anything with our height.. too bad.. i guess the point of sharing this is for those who, once in a while, need an excuse to go beyond the limit, just think you're under height and maybe you won't feel so bad after all ^^