one of those days

My day was soooooo long..
super exhausted. demotivated.
Definitely one of those days,
when things just don't go as planned.
Couldn't be where I wanted to be..
Couldn't say what I wanted to say..
If only there was just one thing,
that could have gone right..
Then maybe my super long day
might end with a good, good night.
But again I was told,
it's already late now.
I should just let it go,
Yet I can't, somehow.
There must be something,
I could have done better, I know..
It might not change yesterday or today,
but it could change tomorrow.

h | u | g

"กอด.. คือเสื้อกันหนาว
ที่มีหัวใจ
กอด.. คือความอบอุ่น
เวลาไม่มีใคร
กอด.. คือที่ยึดเหนี่ยว
ในยามเสียศูนย์
กอด.. คือยา
ต่ออายุใจ
กอด.. คือสิ่งที่บอกว่าเรา
ไม่ได้อยู่คนเดียวในโลก"

สำหรับฉัน
กอด.. คือความห่วงใย
คือความผูกพัน.. คือความเชื่อใจ
แทนคำขอโทษ.. แทนการให้อภัย
แทนคำว่าเธอ.. ยังมีฉันตลอดไป

Hello Spring

It is April. It should be springtime. And it looks like it is, at least this weekend. Took a day off today and went downtown. The weather was too irresistible.. wouldn't want to waste it staying home.

Never thought seasons would have such an impact on people's lives. Living in a country where we don't really have that drastic change, I never felt the difference. I'm not saying winter was so wonderful. It was nice if we had some sunshine, but other than that gloomy days were just too sad. But again, as winter said goodbye and spring arrives, it really feels joyful and refreshing. Fantastic!

Just like tough times make you appreciate the good times..

Spring.. season of joy.. everything seems perfect. Everywhere I turn, it's bright and shining. Full of color.. Full of life. Soon, all the flowers will bloom.. and my favorite tulips.. all over the place :) How else would I want to spend my last two months here..?

มองไปแล้ว เห็นดอกไม้บาน สีสันสดใสแบบนี้ ก็มีความสุข
เหมือนดอกไม้ก็มีความสุข ได้เจอแสงแดด ได้ออกมารับอากาศบริสุทธิ์
ไม่รู้ว่าคนอื่นๆเค้าจะมีความสุขกันมั้ย
คนที่ไม่ได้ต้องหนาวอย่างเรา เค้าจะ appreciate แสงแดดรึเปล่า
คนที่ไม่ได้เห็นต้นไม้ที่มีแต่กิ่งก้าน จะดีใจเวลาใบเขียวๆมันออกมั้ยนะ
เหมือนคนที่ไม่ทุกข์ เวลาสุขก็คงไม่เท่ากัน
เราเองยังเคยเป็นยังงั้นเลย ถ้าไม่ได้มาอยู่ตรงนี้
คนอื่นเค้าก็คงเหมือนกัน..

Blocked

Silence.. fills the room
Emptiness.. fills my head
Sun.. gone too soon
Darkness.. lies instead

Future.. stays unknown;
Past.. still unchanged
Lost.. in this world;
Lost.. in this phase

Seek.. and you shall find;
Try.. and you shall succeed
What.. if it's not true?
What.. if I don't believe?

caring

The week before we had a guest speaker, Tom Mollenhaur, from a non-profit organization called Big Brothers Big Sisters. They focus on helping children through personal relationships with mentors. It was a great perspective from someone who worked in the corporate side before making a transition into the non-profit sector. I'm sure at one point in life you might have learned enough and achieved enough that you actually stop and think about what good can you do to help others and lend out your hands, your experience, your guidance. Interestingly, Tom mentioned that working in a non-profit org is a further challenge to him, perhaps tougher than corporate america. Funding, resources, and all forms of support, although sometimes abundant, do not just come knocking at your door. They need to know where their help is of most benefit. His job is to find ways to communicate to those people how their involvement is making the difference to the children, the community, the society, and give them the reason why they should help through his organization and not others'.

One question was raised, whether he found it hard to work for and with these children. The response: it's always hard when you care. So little I am involved with non-profits, I think it is so true. Look at how you handle your everyday life - if you don't care much then life is all smooth and great. Once you begin to care about something or someone, perhaps starting with yourself and build up to many things and many people, you go through much more thinking, trying, wondering, and seeking answers or solutions. True, not caring is always easier on yourself. Yet I don't see the point in life without it. When you care, it becomes important.. it becomes valuable.. it 'matters.' When you don't, it's all empty.. blank.. meaningless.. Perhaps once in a while it's worth taking a pause to think about what it is you really value in life. Something worth caring for.. something that makes you feel appreciated.. embraced.. fulfilled..

new funeral

so fall quarter has started, and honestly this fall kinda feels different from last year.. perhaps we all have got used to everything around us - the school, the people, the system, everything.. last year everything was brand new.. and during this time it was the CIM recovery period, cuz we all had CIM SARS back then.. and all those 8.30am accounting classes, my gosh.. i'm so glad i won't have to do that again.. well, there's always the first time for everything right? some of which we hope would also be last :P

anyways, i was sitting in my service marketing class the other night, listening to dean honack talking about branding, marketing, etc. at one point he mentioned that these days, in some states, the new business is drive-thru funeral service.. took me a while to visualize.. but people actually have so little time they only drive through to pay respect to their friends or loved ones.. what has become of today's society? that sounds so sad doesn't it? sad enough it is a funeral, but even worse when you add the 'drive-thru' to it.. guess some people don't really care much now.. i pity the one lying in the cascet..

then again, quoted from my other prof kreamer, there are at least two sides to a story.. maybe those families cannot afford a full-service funeral.. maybe this option makes economic sense for them.. of course those who passed away wouldn't want the living to bear too much burden.. and come to think of it, the funeral is more for the living not the dead, don't you think? i'm not supporting drive-thru funerals of course, but i can't really oppose them either.. everyday you hear about new things/ideas sometimes you just can't keep up..

siam muang yim

i haven't been following much of the politics situation in thailand, or perhaps i should say i don't normally do anyway.. several days back i received a phonecall from home with updates on-the-spot about the coup.. initially no idea of how bad the situation was or would become.. tried to look up some news but there wasn't much detail at that hour.. i guess so many people tried to access media websites, which should explain why i could not seem to access any of them.. but now i heard it has turned out peaceful which is most important.. i'm sure you have seen pictures of kids and pedestrians posing with smiling soldiers (who seems to enjoy photo-taking as well) with big tanks in the background.. this is siam muang-yim jing jing..


i thought this was a good shot of how the situation is going at ease (from manager.co.th).. but then i found a more interesting shot below.. if i didn't read the caption i would have thought the girl is pretty weird hehe.. turned out she was a model on a fashion shoot.. how creative..


and then.. another interesting shot.. no need to describe.. the picture says it all :)

source: mumbai mirror (don't ask me why i went there.. i just googled it!)

fake chemist

this is just to reflect on an old friend's blog entry i read earlier.. it wasn't the main idea of the post, but part of the metaphor used.. but let's go back to really basic chemistry.. we all know water and oil do not mix (btw i just learned a new word 'miscible' which is basically, to me, mix+able hehe).. and even if you try to shake it, it'll separate in the end.. some people try to do that in life.. to put things together and try to blend.. you get a whole lot of new stuff if you succeed, of course.. yet we all know certain things don't blend, like water and oil here.. and perhaps the only way to make it 'seem' like it is blended together is to keep shaking forever.. (i strongly believe human eye can fool human).. but who, and more interestingly why, would you want to keep forcing, knowing you cannot sustain such state.. perhaps you might want to ask yourself, what's wrong with leaving it separate? leave the oil up there and the water down here.. let it be.. and here i agree with the ending of my friend's post.. sometimes if you step back and look at it, you might realize it is perfectly fine to not blend and coexist.. now, what if you disagree with me and insist on trying.. maybe you can find the so-called emulsifier which can stabilize the two immiscible substances.. like soap! sure, put the soap in, shake it again, and voila! they mix! but you know what, now you get some cloudy merky liquid.. not water nor oil.. just something.. so i guess if people are happy with that, then keep on looking for that 'mixer'.. but if i were to be that water, i might try to find something, or someone, else that will naturally blend with me.. still that will involve stirring and shaking, but at least eventually it lasts..

ps. for the oil, it might be better to set it aside.. in another nice little bottle by the window.. so when the sun shines through, i could enjoy the beauty of the golden reflection from afar..

corp finance poetry

"equity is soft; debt hard.
equity is forgiving; debt insistent.
equity is a pillow; debt a sword."

i quote this from my finance II lecture notes* it is claimed that this is the only known example of corporate finance poetry.. i didn't know such kind of poetry exists till today, hehe. but it really helped me loosen up a bit while intensely going through all the materials.. man, it is tough! anyways, from the poem, sounds like equity is the good guy here huh.. but debt can be good too - the tax shield and all.. gosh i can't write about this! here's my thought (i decided to play with it a bit):

"love is soft, yet hard.
love is forgiving, yet insistent.
love is a pillow, yet can become a sword."

no one's the good/bad guy here.. you can never tell when it will hurt or heal.. try it, and you will see both sides of the coin.. learn it, and you will understand the balance in life.. at the end of the day, you will realise the bad exists so you can fully appreciate the good :)

ps. i think finance made me gone crazy! hehe..
__________
(*)Stewart, G Bennett III, and David M Glassman, "the motives and methods of corporate restructuring: part II," 1988

gloomy sunday

"seasons come,
seasons go
the sun shines,
the wind blows
people laugh,
people cry
no matter where,
no matter why
life is joy,
life is pain
so learn to fall,
and walk again..."